My Sweet Homeschool

Katie Sullivan M.S., SLP-CCC

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in Christmas· intentional parenting· special needs

10 tips for happy holiday guest hosting when you are a special needs family

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I’m going to admit something that might not be popular…I miss my family at Christmas time –we live over 1,500 miles away from them– but I don’t mind that most holidays find us staying here at home…just me, my husband and our kids.  I never have to worry about making it to 2 sets of in-laws (or in some people’s cases, 4) between Christmas Eve and Day and because of this, we have always had very relaxing, stress free holidays. As we are also parents of two kids with pretty severe special needs, not having to drag them around house to house during an already over stimulating time of year is a blessing.

That is not to say we don’t sometimes get visitors coming here to our home, and when we do we always love it. The kids enjoy having family and friends join us and the holidays are always a special time to get together. Having overnight visitors is stimulating for typical children. When you have kids with special needs there are other things to consider; especially when your guests have little to no experience with children who are not typical.

When you have children with special needs, having company can be a challenge. Here are some tips that will make your visit go more smoothly.

TEN TIPS TO HAPPY HOLIDAY GUEST HOSTING
1. Thank your guest. Most people visiting your home are there because they want to visit with you and your family and know up front your child has special challenges. Thank them for making the effort.
2. Educate. Your family and friends will be able to relate with your child easier and more appropriately for your child’s level of understanding if you educate them on the best ways to do that prior to their arrival. If your child is nonverbal, teach your guests a few of their most used signs. If your child is sensitive to touch, hugs, perfumes, etc, let them know that ahead of time.
3. Appreciate. It’s a big world out there. Appreciate anyone and everyone who takes the time to get to know and understand your family better.

 

4. Prepare. Prepare your child for what visitors are coming. Show pictures in a photo album if you have them and talk about who is coming before they get there.

 

5. Allow for– and schedule– quiet times for your household as the visit allows so that your child does not get over stimulated or overwhelmed. This is good for typical children as well. The holidays sometimes turn into a fever-pitch of activity. Be sure you allow all your children quiet times to calm and “reset”. Our visitors have always been great about asking in advance what the schedule holds and giving us a break here and there to homeschool etc. without interruption while they go on outings in the area they have planned ahead of time. If your visitors are not travelers, have books on your area, current magazines, movies, or other things of interest for your guests to do while kids nap, house is quiet, school is in session, etc.

 

6. If you are a homeschool family, holiday visitors and activities provide a perfect time to practice social skills, both in the house and during outings. Look for those teachable moments.

 

7. Keep it real. The last time we had family visiting, I was doing laundry. When they came that afternoon, I still had a few loads  sitting outside the laundry room sorted into piles waiting to be washed. Darcy asked me privately “do you want me to hide those in our bedroom?”. I responded…”after 12 years of marriage and 5 kids, I’m pretty sure they know we would have a lot of laundry to do after a week”.  It’s all good.

 

8. Enjoy. The holidays are first and foremost a celebration. As a Waldorf homeschooling family, these seasonal celebrations are important to our family and homeschool. Remember to have fun and enjoy your guests.

 

9. Laugh. On year at Christmastime during a visit, my mother in law realized her Rolex was missing. It was very expensive and I knew it was uncharacteristic of my boys with special needs to bother with a watch, but at the same time, they were not good about leaving others things alone at that time. It was missing and we had all looked everywhere for it. To my mother in laws credit she was much less worried about it than Mr. Darcy and I were. Where did we find it? My special needs son Sean had seen it and put it in the stocking hanging on her door (our guest room). His explanation: “it’s pretty. Grandma get watch from Santa”. Turns out, the stockings were where we found a lot of “misplaced” items that year, compliments of Sean: car keys, wallets, pens, and TV remotes! I still remember fondly my in-laws laughing about this and not getting upset over it. I had to laugh too.
 10. Be easy going! I realize that there is something I need to do better when we have company, no matter who the guest… Be more easy going. It is easy to feel a little stress with company around the holidays, isn’t it? and then we let that stress take the true joy out of our hospitality. I love having guests, especially this time of year, so I pray for God to give me more of a “Mary heart” to match my “Martha hands”. To not let busy-ness take the joy out of any visit and to always practice hospitality with a cheerful heart.

What do you love about having company? What do you wish you did better? Do you have any tips to share to make it easier this time of year on your guests and your children, both typical and special needs children? I would love for you to share them.

Blessings to you and hope you are having a joyous Christmas season,

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I have been a homeschooler for 10 years (including my twin sons who have special needs) and a pediatric speech-Language Pathologist for 23 years. My goal is to offer you help, encouragement, and to be a resource for you, so grab a cup and stay awhile.

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